The Choice
I chose my time, I chose my way,
I chose to stay, not another day.
Don’t hurt yourself, don’t wonder why,
I made my choice, my sweet goodbye.
Cry for me not, I have my peace,
Please respect my short-lived lease.
It wasn’t to punish, or cause great pain,
No upper hand, nor spiteful gain.
It was a thought, a mood, a chance,
Our worlds have changed, a circumstance.
For the tearful eyes I leave behind,
To make you suffer, was not in mind.
I am ever near, so remember me,
And the stupid stuff, that caused such glee.
Take all these thoughts, and give them space,
Banish bleaker ones: they have no place.
And because, I trust, you love me so,
You’ll understand, I had to go.
I’ll suffer not, I won’t grow older,
There’s nothing more for me to shoulder.
I didn’t explain, I made my choice,
And so this poem becomes my voice.
So pray for me, I pray for you,
I pray for strength, to carry you.
Because I chose my time, I chose my way,
I chose to stay, not another day.
Amen (or whatever you believe).
Jane Pallister
[This is one of a number of poems available on the SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) website, but it is the one which most profoundly moved us].
The Chubb Family
25th April 2014